A very good friend of mine, another survivor, reminded me that healing doesn't happen over night, or in the blink of an eye--it's a process. Personally, it's a process that's long overdue for me. Yes, I feel stronger every day. I'm not that same woman that first escaped back in December 2010 nor am I the same woman last summer having to deal with the criminal justice system.
But yet sometimes he is still controlling me. My constant fear and anxiety, waiting to see what his next move is, his constant need to win, his having to teach me a lesson. How many times did he tell me that? I can still hear his voice in my head.
My identity was revealed on another blog, by an anonymous blogger who knows nothing about me but felt the need to "out" me. The comments that followed were not positive and sounded an awful lot like Prince Charming's writing style.
Yes, the bruises on my body have long healed, but the emotional scars are fresh and raw. Who knows how long they will take to heal.