Monday, June 27, 2011

The Mirror Speaks

Last week marked the 6th month anniversary of my exiting an emotional and physically abusive relationship.  It was with a man I had been with for 8 years. A man that I had thought was my soul mate.  My very own Prince Charming who I had met at the age of 39.

The exit was sudden and due to his arrest and brief stint in jail until being bailed out by his mother on Christmas Eve.  The violence had been escalating as they sometimes do in domestic violence relationships so I've been told. 

Six months ago, perhaps even three or four months ago I would look in the mirror and not recognize the person staring back at me.  It has been a process of re-discovering myself.  They say a battered woman is never the same woman she was before it happened.  Her history becomes woven into the fabric of her being.  Abuse wasn't supposed to happen to women like me.

As I write about my journey, last week I got the news that there probably won't be a grand jury indictment despite the physical evidence. He has an alibi.  Not a surprise.  I am learning to let go.  Trust myself again.  I didn't always make the best decisions when it came to HIM.

So I asked a very close friend of mine, (yes I am able to have friends now.  Another miracle in itself! A miracle because of this very guardian angel) am I making the right decision by letting go?  His response, was remarkable as it always is--

"Look where you were a year ago and WHERE YOU ARE NOW.  The mirror will answer your question: looking better, new job, pay raise, office, new friends...."

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